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MY STUFF

one more time
I'm still here
breakdown
glory
stranded
sweet spirit
outpour
alive
trusting
pride
home
island
vain
cover my eyes
surround me
take oh Lord


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MUSIC

ONE MORE TIME
July 1998
i am often so stubborn

I am alone
You are standing by my side
helpless I cry
as You carry me
through this night

my arms fall down
my heart spread wide
before Your healing…eyes

Merciful Father
go into my closets
and my dark places of shame
clean me out from the lies
hold me again

know my heart
search my soul
try me with truth
I am ready now
to surrender my life
one more time to You

my life was meant for Your life
often I fill it with self
may this being become
a beautiful home
for You to dwell

my arms fall down
my heart spread wide
before Your healing…eyes

Merciful Father
go into my closets
and my dark places of shame
clean me out from the lies
hold me again
know my heart
search my soul
try me with truth I am ready now
to surrender my life
one more time to You



I'M STILL HERE
May 1998
struggling to trust that God is there and the fact that He is there


asking myself the same questions
I have asked myself before
ignoring the truth
that has been revealed
I run in circles again


i have searched too long
I have fought too hard
You have loved too much for me
to live like this
in binding chains
instead of being free


yet I'm still here
struggling to see Your face


this void I feel
inside of me
that comes when I forget
You are my peace, my security
my life and my breath
it controls my thoughts
distracts my hope
it forces me to doubt
the truth in You
the Living God
save me from myself


again You come and condescend
to look me in the eyes
with strength and ease
You clear away
the distractions from my mind


yet I'm still here
struggling to let go


right now I wish You'd rip away
the power that I have
to chose between
my God and sin
shall I live or shall I die?


yet I'm still here
and You're here with me
yet I am still here
and You are here with me




BREAKDOWN
Feb.1998
written for my sister


you're spinning round
right in front of me
and I'm so scared
you're gonna fall to the ground
i'm hoping soon
you're gonna breakdown
you're spinning round
right in front of me
the trouble in your life
it's plain to see
and i wish i could stand
in your place
but i've got to let you
keep spinning round
maybe it's because i know
about the emptiness
and how it feels
to search for completeness alone
it takes time to admit
what we already know
and if icould decide for you
i would
but i've got to let you
keep spinning round
until finally
you're gonna breakdown
we all got to breakdown


GLORY Oct.1996

i look around and see astounding beauty
what could compare with the treasures
of this world
indulged in life I wonder
is this all there is?
or can there be something more?

then I see Your face
Your glory puts this world
back in it's place
i can't help but bow down
before Your throne

a new depth is there
to all I see
the rocks and stones
cry out Your mystery
it's all a shadow of what's above
all creation shouts of Your infinite love



STRANDED
march 1998
broken down on the side of the road,
in the middle of the night, this song came
which means so much more to me now


at least the moon is bright tonight
but it's cold outside
i feel alone
i know i'm not alone
but no one seems to even care
are they afraid? i am so afraid
i'm hoping You'll send somebody soon

refrain
i know You're not gonna
leave me stranded here
and You are loving me
through the fear
i will get by

when the day comes
it wont seem so bad
but it's not day yet, and it's so quiet
i try to rejoice and i try to stay strong
but i'm trembling inside
do You hear my cry?

refrain

i have to see You in their eyes
or else I'd run and hide
soon it becomes apparent
that You are working it all out
i thank You God
for the people You sent

refrain in past tense
i knew You weren't gonna
leave me stranded there
and You were loving me
through the fear

at least the moon was bright tonight
but it's still cold outside.



SWEET SPIRIT
Feb. 1998
a song of quieting my busy soul to be with the Lord

come oh sweet Spirit, come
break forth into song my soul
from my depths
spring now Living Water
come oh Spirit, come

there's no way I can prepare for You
there's nothing I can do
but quiet myself
and open my heart to You
You are calling me there
"find your rest in Me, my love,
come now and abide in Me"
than to be with You alone
I lay all my troubles and my fears aside
to enter Your Holy Throne

come oh sweet Spirit, come
break forth into song my soul
from my depths
spring now Living Water
come oh Spirit, come

I rejoice in my soul
my God, You do console
again You pour Your Love on me
overflowing


OUTPOUR
dec.1995
the first song I wrote on the road back to Jesus
You told me that if I wanted to
Pour out my heart to You
You would listen… please listen

It's a strange thing
not feeling apart of anything
and trying to figure out the truth
and sometimes I want to breakdown
and cry
but my heart wont let me let go of You
believe me I've tried to let go
but when I loose sight
then You loose control
and my life starts to spin
and I forget why I'm here
and why You love me

i remember
it was that little thing You did for me
way back on Calvary You died
so that I might live
now please try to forgive
the things I've done to hurt you
i can't believe You still love me..
i can't believe You still love me..
all I can do is be in awe of You.


ALIVE
Feb. 1998

You are before me, You are behind me
Within me, throughout me, around me
In everyone I see,
And in everyone I meet
You are there
You are the sky that covers me
You are the wind blown
Through the trees
You shine Your light from up above
And we are sustained by Your love

in You we move and have our being
in You we are alive
fulfilling Your plan
we walk through life
in You we are alive

inside of me, You see so clearly
the desires of my heart burning
to follow You close behind
for Your face, oh my God,
is always on my mind



TRUSTING
June 1998
Surrendering my hearts love for an individual to my Father

For so long I have wondered
what you'd be like,
now here you are
and i can't explain why
you seem to blow all of my plans

so i'm trusting in my Father
I'm trusting in His Love
I am trusting in His Spirit
to guide me through this world
I am trusting in His Mercy
I am trusting in His Truth
trusting in His strong arm
to show me what to do

I lay down to rest
You hold me in Your arms
I surrender to Your Peace and trust

as I look now into your eyes
I see the light of Christ
how could it be you were brought to me?
how long might this blessing stay?

so i'm trusting in my Father
I'm trusting in His Love
I am trusting in His Spirit
to guide me through this world
I am trusting in His Mercy
I am trusting in His Truth
trusting in His strong arm
to show me what to do

I lay down to rest
You hold me in Your arms
I surrender to Your Peace, and trust



PRIDE
March 1998
There you go again
I thought I'd be rid
of you by now
but I know it's you
I know your touch

I don't have to deny it.. anymore
I just have to fight it
With all I am
And although you run
Through my blood
I am not you
You are not me

You're so familiar
You know just what I like
Saducing eyes, I try to hide
The fact that I enjoy it
You leave me a little colder than ever
You've given me nothing
Seems like I've surrendered
Everything

All these lies
Everything that I have believed
The fear that motivated my doubt
Collapse's in truth
This truth is my strength
And my humility



HOME
Jan. 1998

life moves on around me
as I sit silently
waiting for Your call
ready to run to You

out of this gray world
into the light of life
I'm surrounded by Your glory
heavenly accompany me
on this journey

back home
searching for the peace
that comes when I am in Your arms
without You I'm so weak
with You somehow I'm strong

I'm crushed by the rock
that crumbles
beneath Your touch
You come and rescue me now
like You've done
every time before

I want to go home
to the faithful One
the true God

Jesus my Lord
my Redeemer, in You I trust
somehow You find in You
a way to accept me once more

take me home


I LOVE YOU LORD
Spring 1997
Just a spontaneous song me and my friend
Karen made up that stuck.

I love You Lord
You are the best
I love You Lord
I want to rest
In Your arms
in Your arms

You are the Way the Truth
and the Life
You are the final Sacrifice
Thankyou Lord for giving me life
For giving me life

Only in You..


ISLAND
August1998

daddy I'm still tempted to fear
this world doesn't seem to shine
the glory You speak of
it's purpose long forgotten
guide me, although I have no answers, I barely have a will
all I have is Your calling
Your touch is my truth

firm and strong, I am now safe
on this island of Love
in a sea of hate
how can I help this world I'm in?
and how can I stop the spin

Your promise is my life
I hold onto You
in the depth of the night
I can only rest secure knowing
You carry me through this purifying time
If I look at me,
or anything else but You
I loose the grace you died
Thankyou for holding me close to You
My Lord God what else could I do?



VAIN
August 1998

all of my efforts are in vain
seeking perfection a constant strain
flesh held bound by the crux of sin
my spirit of life groans from within

another mile I've walked today
too short of glory,
my head hung in shame
my efforts of weakness
bring no reward
my desire's burnt up
by the flames of war

at last I see, I've been looking at me
my sin and my struggle and my downward glance
too focused distracted
to notice or tell of
the love and the mercy
You shown from above

unthought of mercy
me with care
untold compassion
counted every hair
my victories completed
my fights been won
praises can be sung again
in honor of the Son

no more sorrow will be
no more fear surrounding
the Party be started
it's already begun
in harmony we'll sing to
Thee, Most Holy One
Praise and glory



COVER MY EYES
Sept.1997
Cover my eyes Lord
I don't want to see
This big world
that's ahead of me
I really think it's best
For me to not know
Every trial and every test

But I know that you know
It's all in Your hands
And I know that You know
You've formed a plan
And I trust in You
To give me this day
Enough strength
To carry the weight

Cover my eyes Lord
One day is eternity
Filled with excitement
and overflowing opportunity
The air that I breathe
And the friends that you give
In this one day
There's so much life to live


SURROUND ME
March 1998
surprise me, surprise me
everyday in every way,
You surprise me
astound me, surround me,
everywhere there You are
surround me
how could I ever doubt Your love?
show me, with Your touch
You hold me in Your arms
how could I ever doubt Your love?
fill me, complete me,
with Your everlasting peace
amaze me, You amaze me
in You awesome power
with Your mercy and patience
how could I ever doubt Your love?
how could I ever doubt Your love?
surprise me



TAKE OH LORD
Dec.1997

Take oh Lord and receive
My entire liberty
My memory, understanding
All that I am and all that I have
You've given me
I surrender it all
Do with it what You will
Give me only Your love
and Your grace
with these I'll be rich enough
and I'll desire nothing more
only You, only You